Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn Review

Yes! Episode Stormborn kicks off with a bang, literally.  There was some steamy sex scene and HBO finally gives us our weekly dose of succulent breasts and rounded bottoms. We'll get to that in a few lines.

QUEEN DAENARYS ACCUSING VARYS

Daenerys hatches her plan to take the Iron Throne along with Olenna Tyrell, Euralia Martell and Yara Greyjoy. She briefly accuses Varys the Eunuch of being a snake which he swiftly finesses his way out of with the fine words "I CHOSE YOU, MY QUEEN"

The Red Priestess, Melisandre who served Stannis Baratheon arrives Dragon Stone with a prophecy on her lips "It is a long night, only the prince that was promised can bring the dawn" She hints at Dana and Jon being very instrumental in bringing light to Westeros.

Dany hears of Jon's exploits in the North and invites him to come over to Dragon Stone so they could both hangout, watch some movies, talk shop and oh yeah, Bend The Knee!

MISANDE AND GREY WORM ABOUT TO GET FRISKY

You have to applaud Tyrion's battle Master plan as both strategic and genius.  As part of the battle plans, the unsullied army have to travel to Casterly Rock. An upset Misande goes to see Grey Worm and they confirm all the sexual chemistry we've seen from these two. Grey Worm pours out his heart like a child, referring to her as his weakness. Kisses her awkwardly, She gets naked and they make sweet love.

It seems our favorite fatso, Sam Tarly may have found a cure to Ser Jorah's greyscale infection. Although crude, gross, and painful, it's the only shot we've got at seeing the might of Ser Jorah in Daenerys' ranks once again.

There has never been a tougher time to be King of the North and Jon Snow is once again caught in the web making the seemingly right decision that displeases everyone, even the fiery Lady Lyanna Mormont. The decision to ride for Dragon Stone at the behest of a Lannister and bend a knee to a Tygarean in exchange for Dragon glass, Dragon fire and a large army. Ned Stark's bastard proves his exceptional leadership abilities to us once again.

LORD BAELISH WITH THAT DEVIL SMILE

Jon's sojourn to the Mother of Dragons leaves control of the North in the hands of dumbo the Oldest Stark, Sansa which to be honest is a sucker move. Lord Baelish thinks this is an opportunity to worm his way into Jon's heart and Sansa's bed but meets a choke slam and death threat from king Jon.

HERE LIETH THE FACE OF THE MAN WHO HATH NO BALLS

Euron Greyjoy returns as promised with the largest fleet of ships ever and attacks the Donnish-Greyjoy ship army destroying all their ships, killing the donnish first daughters and captures her Queen. The battle climaxes when Euron faces off with Yara, he overpowers her and holds her hostage, leaving Theon to redeem himself and save the day, but he panics in the face of carnage and jumps into the sea. Well, we didn't expect much from  a man with no balls testicles

ARYA MEETS HER DIREWOLF, NYMERIA 

Arya on her way back to the North reunites with her direwolf, Nymeria but he turns his back on her! Does this predict further doom for House Stark??

Things to look out for in the coming episodes:

• Jon's meeting with the Mad King's Daughter 
• Euron Greyjoy alliance with Queen Cersei 
• Sansa ruling the North in Jon's stead
• Some more lovemaking from Greyworm and Misande 
• Arya's reunion with Sansa
• Ser Jorah back to full health