Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Game of Thrones: S8 E1- Winterfell

Jon Snow and The Mother of Dragons 

After nearly 2 years of anticipation, the most exciting TV Show since Prison Break is back!

If you haven't seen the new episode - Spoiler Alert

Shall We Begin?
The episode begins with the arrival of Dany at Winterfell and it felt like a natural place to start the season, perfectly capturing what is at stake for Dany and Jon. The North is not the most welcoming to outsiders, especially a Tygarean Queen. Dany is smart, she senses the hostility and tries to make the best of the situation.

Tyrion opens the episode by poking fun at Varys for being an Eunuch. When asked why it's acceptable for Tyrion to badger Varys and not the other way around, Tyrion responds "Because I have balls and you don't."  

Despite the tension in the air at Winterfell from having a Tygarean Queen, Dothraki savages, an army of Unsullied men and two fire-breathing beasts in their midst, It's a still a sweet homecoming for many: Jon reunites with Arya and Bran and quickly sets to work turning Winterfell in to the stage for a grand stand against the approaching army of the dead. Arya reunites with the Hound and Gendry. Tyrion and Sansa meet for the first time since Joffrey's "medding" (A new word I just made up for when someone is murdered at their wedding)

The reunion we've all been waiting for

No one has ever ridden a dragon except for  Dany and only Tygareans can ride Dragons, that should have been a sign for Jon who's not always the quickest on the update but eventually gets there. If we have never seen an anchor to Jon and Dany's relationship, riding a dragon together and Jon showing her where he used to hunt as a kid is defintely one. They have a brief Jon-Dany moment and this is the moment the Dragons accepts him as one of their riders

Bruh! Why are you sucking Mummy's face?

Meanwhile back at King's Landing, Cersei navigates her alliance with the Golden Compnay and Euron Greyjoy who has never relented in his pursuit of gracing the Queen's bed sheets. Cersei is put off by his advances- "If you want a Queen, earn her" only to give up the cookie the same night. She also employs Bronn the Sellsword to murder her two brothers. At this point, it's quite clear she's playing a reckless, short sighted version of the Game of Thrones and her decison making is questionable.
In her defense, She is in a vulnerable place, having pushed away the only man she's ever truly loved, Jaime.

"If you want a Queen, follow me to the bedroom"

Sam Tarly, our favorite fatso one of the most important characters of the series who has never met Dany and yet they are connected by various threads- Sam saving Jorah from the Greyscale disease, Dany murdering Sam's father and brother. Sam Tarly (John Bradley) does an excellent job in this scene, the difference in the way he takes the news of his father's death with whom he had a froth relatonship and the way he takes the news of his brother's death

The scene was the perfect preamble leading up to the moment where he tells Jon what we already know about his real parents. Jon reacts by throwing things in front of the truth; he doesn't want to believe Ned lied to him his whole life, he'd have to challenge Dany for the Iron Throne.

Sam learns about the death of his Father and Brother

The first episode ends on a puzzling note as the King Slayer sets his eye on Winterfell's most eligible Serial Killer, Bran. The thoughts that must be going through Jaime's mind on realizing the little boy he pushed out of a 20 storey building didn't plummet to his death.  Can you feel the drama in the air? the smell of forbidden romances, the dread of the Night King on the back of Viserion, the scheming of Varys, Tyrion, Davos, Qyburn and Arya

Random Thoughts:

  1. How's Dany going to react on seeing the man who killed her father?
  2. Will the Starks accept Theon Greyjoy when he arrives Winterfell?
  3. Will Jaime Lannister and Bran Stark get along?
  4. Will Drogon and Rhaegal's get enough to eat before they face Viscerion?

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment. #ForTheThrone

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Quick Tips to nail your first Interview

Oh! That's me :)
Just completed your NYSC program and it's time to get a real job!
Here's how to nail your first interview. You can trust me, I'm the Drunk Pen.

Show up at the reception looking super fly in your three-piece suit. Let them know you didn't come to play

When they ask you whether you'd like something to drink, tell them you'd like a glass of JOB

Never refer to yourself as an appliCANT. You are an appliCAN

Know the Interviewer's name and use it during the interview. If you're not sure what it is, call them Jobsy or Jobbo

Remember, every question is a test. So when they ask you, "How are You?"
Reply with "Goal Oriented, Thank You"

Maintain eye contact with the interviewer at all times. If they are two, keep one eye on each of them. That's why you have two eyes, man!

During the interview, make a point to mention that you failed religious studies and say "The only thing I worship is PRODUCTIVITY"

When they ask you where you want to be in the next 5 years, tell them "Wherever the wind blows me"

And finally, if they give you a chance to ask a question, ask them "When can I resume?"

Ahaa! Salary expectations. Know your worth, then add TAX.

Congratulations on landing your dream job!

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

My Lagos Numbers

Lagos, the land of dreams, hope and opportunities.

We come here with lungs so clean and pure and go back with lungs no different from a smoker’s because of all that fume in traffic.

You know those three chiefs in white robes at the entrance of the state? I feel like they are saying

“Welcome to Lagos, a mentally disturbed person will be with you shortly”

Even though I was born here, I never quite understood the concept of 5 Oshodi Bus stops; Oshodi Under bridge, Oshodi Isale, Oshodi Oke, Oshodi Along and Oshodi Express.

One day, My Aunt asked me to come to her flat in Oshodi to pick up a package, I entered an Oshodi-bound bus from Ikotun and the conductor was like

“Yellow, where you dey go? Under bridge, Express or Along”

God, what is this na?

I was thinking about this beautiful state on my way back from work and I decided to play a numbers game. Stay with me, Shall we?

4/10 – That’s the probability of entering a Danfo in Lagos and the door falls off mid-journey

8/10 – That’s the probability of you displaying some level of madness to get your change from the 

9/10- That’s the probability of the driver going past your bus-stop. It doesn’t matter how many times you scream “OWA”

6/10 – That’s the probability that the passenger sitting next to you will peer in to your phone like they know your whatsapp contacts or something.
As a personal treat, I just turn on my front camera, so they can see their nose in other people’s business

8/10 – That’s the probability that you’ll share the seat with someone who’s twice your size but would pay for one seat. Now you have to shrink your bones to stay alive for the trip.

8/10 – That’s the probability that the first conversation with your new seat partner would be “Please, are you giving him change?”

5/10- That’s the probability that at some point you’ll have to come down from the bus and complete your journey on foot because Lagos traffic is engineered in the darkest depths of hell

“Come to Lagos, you have skills, you’ll make more money” they said
They didn’t lie though, but they didn’t add “You’ll have to trade a little bit of your sanity”

And if you live in Lagos and can’t relate to this, I envy you.

And if you live in small quiet town, making a honest living and nursing dreams of coming to Lagos. 

Please stop, stop right there! 


Tuesday, 29 August 2017

Game of Thrones, S7, Episode Finale: The Dragon and The Wolf Review

The Iron Queen and her Twin Lover

What an episode! If you have seen it, You'd be able to understand that those first three words mean a whole damn lot. This season has been expertly paced to make for a deeply satisfying finale. Let's dive in, shall we?

Ready for some juice?

Daenerys made a grand entrance to the dragon Pit with Drogon and Rhaegon for the meet with Cersei for a possible alliance against the undead. What a move to solidify a strong and intimidating presence!

The Dragon pit scene seemed to hint at exactly how Cersei will meet her end.When Jon, Dany and The Hound presented their case to Cersei, they released a wight from a box to prove that the threat was real. The creature immediately ran toward Cersei, gnashing its teeth. This is where things got interesting.

The Hound eventually stopped the wight from attacking Cersei, but not until it was within a couple of feet of her. Did you notice what everyone did in that moment?
That's right, they did nothing. Not a single person sworn to serve Cersei moved to save her. Both Jaime, the man she loves and The Mountain, her personal bodyguard were within arm’s reach of the queen, but they didn't attempt to save her when her life was hanging in the balance.

Look Tyrion! It's Jon and Dany's sex tape

This epic scene also gives us a confirmation of a future "Cleganebowl" as The Hound confronts The Mountain, “Brother, you know who’s coming for you”

Who ever thought having no balls could come in handy?

Theon, after seasons of despair and suffering, was finally able to turn his loss into an advantage, winning a brutal fight thanks to his ability to withstand pain, and a literal lack of balls. Yet his real strength came from his determination to save the sister who had never given up on him and partly from the emotional heart-to-heart he had with Jon declaring him both a Stark and a Greyjoy

You Queens got jokes huh?

Meanwhile, Littlefinger who believed he was pulling the levers at Winterfell got a dose of his own medicine. The joke was on Lord Baelish as Sansa revealed he was the surprise guest at his own trial. Out it all came: his killing of Lord Arryn and Aunt Lysa and, most damning of all, his part in the downfall of the most Honorable Man in Westeros, Ned Stark. Key witness for the prosecution was the omniscient Bran, whose testimony regarding Littlefinger’s betrayal of Ned resulted in a swift execution at the hands of our sweet Arya.
It was a nicely played exit for a character which we all loved to hate, Baelish’s advice to Sansa to suspect the worst of your enemies was used against him. Having led the great and the good of the Seven Kingdoms on a merry dance, this was an ignominious farewell. 

The moment the deal was struck

And the long-awaited romantic union of Dany and Jon finally arrived, just as the show decided to clue audiences in on Jon Snow’s real name and lineage, Aegon Tygarean of Rhaegar Tygarean and Lyanna Stark!
Incest is disgusting, but we'd make an exception for The Dragon and The Wolf not those Lannister freaks. However, it is normal Tygarean tradition to marry within the family, that's how they keep their bloodline pure.
Oh! How satisfying it is to finally see Jon and Dany rock the boat. 

Jon and Dany rocking the boat

The episode finale ends in the ultimate spectacle of the wall crumbling at the blaze of blue flame from the Viserion, the Ice Dragon. So much for the "magical wall" but well, Dragon fire burns hotter than regular fire and is imbued with magical properties, that's why it was able to melt the wall. The North is at the mercy of the Night King's ever growing army of dead men and unless Jon and Dany pause their lovemaking and remember that Winter is still here, The King of the North might not have a kingdom to come back to.

Knows everything, does nothing until the last episode

While we anticipate Season 8 in early 2019, the Drunk Pen would like to know this, If you had a dragon and you were to choose a word to make it breathe fire, what would you choose? Leave a comment!

Seven blessings!

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Game of Thrones, S7, Ep. 6: Beyond The Wall Review

The scariest face in all of the 7 kingdoms

The longest episode in GoT history is here and it's 71 mins long! and if you're yet to see it, stop right here! But can you?

Jon and his motley lot continue their long, cold walk north of the wall on their mission to bring back a Night walker and there is a lot of banter and locker room talk.

Tyrion is back again with his trade mark snarky attitude and clever wit as he hints to Dany that Jon is in love with her. It's priceless to watch Dany blush and stutter in denial. A Daenerys-Jon relationship would have been a beautiful ending to Season 7 except it would be another disgusting incest freak show and here's why.

Rhaegar was the son of the Mad King, Aerys, and older brother to Daenerys and Viserys Targaryen. Lyanna was the only daughter of Rickard Stark, and sister to Ned, Benjen, and Brandon. Since Jon Snow is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, that means Daenerys is his aunt.

Tyrion convincing Dany to let Jon and his squad perish

Jon and his squad finally come face to face with the Dwight army, the battle is fierce, scary and riveting and they are nearly slaughtered by the undead army but the cracking ice floors  buys them some time to re-group and re-strategize. Jon realises the odds are against them and sends Gendry to the Knights Watch to send a raven to Dany asking for help.
When the fight is hardest and it seems all is going to be over soon for our avengers, guess who shows up in all her might with three flying beasts, spitting fire on the undead? Daenerys!!

Thoros, Brother of the light flaming white walkers

But her good run is marred as the Night King's spear slices through one of the dragons, killing it instantly. A frightened Dany hurries away with the rest of her children and Jon's squad except Jon, leaving Jon at the mercy of the white walkers.

Just before Jon's life is ended, another miracle happens and I honestly feel the writers of GoT were just reaching with this twist. Uncle Benjen Stark shows up out of the blue wielding a chain of fire and trades places with the King of the North.

Jon Snow and his aunty, Daenerys having a moment at his bedside

This episode serves us with one of the most emotional scenes in GoT history, this doesn't top Ned Stark's beheading or the murder of the Starks by Walder Frey. It's the moment Jon  finally calls Dany his queen and literally bends the knee while lying down (hahaha)  It took the death of one dragon to break the man. Well, that's a fair price considering the man's ego.

Somebody finally calls out Sansa for all her foolishness and sheepish behaviour in Season 1 and it's our sweet Arya. The Lady of Winterfell never loses an opportunity to serve us with our weekly dose of her stupidity as she keeps playing right in to the hands of Littlefinger.

<insert synonym for "stupidity" here>

This episode ends in the most frightening way ever! The Night King exhumes the body of the fallen dragon and breathes "life" into it or should I say "death" turning it into a Night Walker Dragon! Will this new beast breathe fire or ice at the whisper of 'dracarys"??

Gentlemen, Shall we?
With one more episode left and too many questions left unanswered, Dany down to two dragons, Jon Snow badly injured, Sansa and Arya at each others throats, The Night King with a dragon, two giants in his ranks and an infinite army of white walkers, Queen Cersei yet to surrender. The final episode should serve the biggest showdown in TV history.

Save the date! 27th of August, 2017!

Thursday, 17 August 2017

(VIDEO) Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 6: Beyond The Wall

Tyrion Lannister 

It is no longer news that someone in HBO Spain accidentally clicked the wrong button and leaked Episode 6, "Death is the new enemy" flipping the middle finger to those hackers and their baby threats.

On the downside, if you DOWNLOAD and watch this episode, you'd have to wait 2 whole weeks for the last episode. The choice is yours.
Download HERE

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 5: Eastwatch Review

The King of the North 

There wasn't as much action in this episode as we saw in "The Spoils of War" but it brings back some of our old friends.
Thanks to Bronn for saving our One-handed King slayer and Yes! Drogon is unhurt by Qyburn's giant crossbow and is bursting with life.
We see a new side of Dany as she gives the surviving Lannister soldiers two options; "Bend the knee and join me OR refuse and die"
Lord Tarly and Son, Dickon before their death

The brave Lord Tarly and his son, Dickon (what kinda name is that anyway?) defy the Dragon Queen and pay the ultimate price. Well, she was pretty generous to have given people who took up arms against her a choice. But now we know she isn't so different from her father, the mad king.

Jon having a romance with Drogo 

Jon has a moment with Dany as he pets her dragon and the beasts appears to like him too. The chemistry between these two keeps building.
The look on Dany's face when Jon says he's going Eastward to bring a Night walker resembles the look of a woman whose lover is going off to die. She makes a weak attempt to stop him but the King of the North is strong-headed.

The royal incest couple celebrating a new child 

Tyrion makes a play to convince Cersei to fight the Dwight with Daenerys by talking to Jaime. Jaime brings this news to the Queen and it's certain he's unsure about winning the war. Cersei drops a bigger bombshell that she is with child (Eeeeeeeeew). They hug and kiss passionately (Double Eeeeew) and she ends the scene with a warning to Jaime "Never betray me again"

Sam and Gilly uncovering the truth about Jon's ancestry 

Our favorite fatso, whose father and brother got roasted for not bending the knee to Dany, rebels against the Maesters of the Citadel, who keep ignoring the warning of the looming Dwight army. But just before he leaves, Gilly reads aloud from an old book and reveals that Rhaegar (Jon's secret real Dad) had his marriage annulled and remarried in Dorne which was where Ned Stark found his Sister Lyanna with child. This means Jon isn't a bastard after all and is a legitimate son of Rhaegar and Lyanna and is a full-blood Tygarean with a legitimate claim to the Iron Throne.
Ser Jorah kissing Daenery's hand

In Winterfell, Arya confronts Sansa after walking in on the Lords of the North planning to make her the Ruler of the North in Jon's absence and she doesn't defend his name. Arya's Ninja training comes in quite handy as she grows suspicious of Littlefinger and starts following him around. Little did she know that his evil genius had her exactly where he wanted her and leads her directly to the note that Sansa wrote to Robb under duress in Season 1. Littlefinger has once again proved his genius in driving a wedge between the Stark sisters.

Sansa's letter to Robb in season 1

The brothers of the Light join up with Jon's squad and they head for the Dwight army at Eastwatch to bring back a Night Walker. Isn't this a suicide mission?
7 men against an army of immortals??? They look like the avengers only with less sense and more bravery. We look forward to episode 6, stay tuned for spoilers.

2 more episodes left! Stay woke!!

Sunday, 6 August 2017

Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 4: The Spoils of War Review

Daenerys and her gang 

The shortest episode of Game of Thrones in HBO history is here and the biggest battle so far is fought and if you haven't seen it, well, Spoiler Alert!

Lord Petyr Baelish scheming his way 

Petyr Baelish is at it again with his antics trying to worm his way into Brandon Stark's heart but he meets a disconnected, emotionless individual and even Meera gets her own dose of the cold attitude of the Three eyed Raven.

Arya! Oh Arya! Our sweet Arya finally arrives home and the biggest Stark reunion yet is set!

Dany, Misande and Jon Snow

The long talked about Dragon glass stash at Dragon Stone is finally found. Jon and Danny take a walk through the cave and uncover evidence that the Children of the Forest and the First Men once fought the Dwights together and this finally convinces Danny to believe Jon's tale and she promises to defend the North if Jon buys her flowers, takes her shopping and of course BENDS THE KNEE!

Danny gets wind of Casterly Rock's capture, Olenna's death and panics as it's obvious she's losing the war. The mother of Dragons threatens to take flight with her children and melt the Red keep as she's fed up of Tyrion's clever plans.

Lady Brienne and her squire, Podrick

We get a brief glimpse of our darling Arya's sword skills as she spars with Lady Brienne. Baelish and Lady Sansa watch her and are impressed beyond words.

Vicerys turning Lannisters to ashes

Dany keeps her word and launches a surprise attack on the Lannister army that took High garden. The battle is majestic and fierce with Dothraki savages running at the Lannisters from all sides and Vicerys breathing down fire from the first whisper of "Dracaris"

Arya unsheathes her Valeyrian steel dagger

The secret weapon is finally unveiled and Vicerys takes a huge arrow to his right side and goes down. This episode is by far the most suspense filled as Jaime Lannister has a close shave with death by fire. He tries to be smart and run through Danaerys with a spear as she tends to a wounded Vicerys but her Dragon turns around in the nick of time and breathes fire on our one-handed kingslayer. But he's pushed away from the blaze by Ser Bronn.

Jaime and Bronn looking confused in the face of attack

The entire Lannister army has been decimated along with her ally, House Tully and Queen Cersi is down to one ally, Euron Greyjoy. Dany is down to at least 2 dragons, a fierce Dothraki army, an unsullied army that's stuck in Casterly Rock and a potential ally in Jon Snow.

With 3 more episodes left in the season finale, How will Queen Cersei be defeated? Will Arya deal the final blow with her new Valeyrian Steel dagger? When will the fight against the Night Walkers begin? Will Jon eventually bend the Knee? Will Viscerys survive the wound or are we down to two Dragons? More to come

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 3: The Queen's Justice Review

Dany, The Foreign Invader

The Northern fool heads all the way to Dragon Stone to see the Foreign Invader. We've waited for this scene a long time and it didn't disappoint. Their conversation is filled with points and counterpoints with both making solid points to prove their case as Jon tries to persuade her to leave her fight with Cersei and fight the Night Walkers with him and Dany demands an oath of fealty from the Bastard of Winterfell.

Euron GreyJoy delivers on his promise to return with a gift and delivers Ellaria, her daughter and Yara Grejoy and Cersei makes a cryptic promise to marry him but we know that's never happening.

Cersei Lannister, Queen of the 7 Kingdoms

Cersei reaffirms her position as The Queen Mother of Evil as she carries out the perfect revenge on Ellaria for murdering Myrcella, making her watch her daughter go through a very slow and painful death that might have felt a bit "above and beyond," but this was all still within her right as a wronged, grieving mother.

Just when we thought we've had enough of the Lannister incest freak show, they decide to do the nasty and this time they aren't hiding it, confirming all the town gossip, "I am the Queen of the 7 kingdoms, I shall do as I please" she says

Lord of the North, Sansa Stark

Sansa for the first time ever is doing a good job of leading as Lord of the North in Jon's stead but all that "Lord swagger" crumbles as Bran arrives Winterfell and she tears up. We can't wait for Arya to arrive, that's if she didn't turn around after meeting Nymeria.

Sam locking arms with Ser Jorah. 

Back at the Citadel, Sam Tarly's little experiment with Ser Jorah pays off and the Knight is back to full health and should be swinging his sword in Dany's ranks soon.

Like last week's episode, "The Queen's Justice" ended with a big battle, but one of a different sort. Sure, it all didn't turn out well for Dany's forces in the end, but the entire sequence felt different. Here, as the Unsullied army stormed Casterly Rock, Tyrion's voice led us through the plan and we finally got to learn about Tyrion's time as the lowly sewer master of the Rock.

It was all still a big diversion though, and a way for Cersei, who's pretty damn good at this strategy shit, to knock out Dany's other important ally - the Tyrells. So while we were all excited to finally see Casterly Rock this week, the show magnificently tricked us by also showing us, for the first time, Highgarden, and that was the actual important war tactic. Tyrion was duped (again) and we were duped. It was a superb double-duping.

Jaime Lannister and Olenna Tyrell before her death 

The final scene of the episode, between Jaime and Olenna. It was awesome to see him show mercy to Olenna by allowing her to die painlessly but then it was also great to see her spit that charity back in his face when she told him that she was one of the masterminds behind Joffrey's agonizing death. We all knew that she was behind Joffrey's choking, but Jaime and Cersei didn't. I don't know where Jaime fell on the verdict side of things, but we all know Cersei blamed Tyrion and Sansa.

Danaerys Stormborn seems to be losing this war having lost two battles and three allies. Will she unleash her dragons? What secret weapon does Cersei have for the dragons? Will Jaime tell Cersei about Olenna's confession? Is Arya walking around in King's Landing in another face?
4 more episodes! It's a game of thrones, you lose you die.

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Chronicles of a Corps Member: Day 7

Soldier x Bloody Civilian 
What's good D?

The first day of the month and God heard our prayers and sent down then rains very early in the morning and  even the soldiers had to spend more time in bed. We heard the beagle at 5am and nothing felt more refreshing cos for the first time in 7 days, we had up to 7 hours sleep.

Had our morning parade as usual and the rest of the day had us locked in with bullshit motivational speakers and lectures about sex and condoms.
The guy once said "Never apologize for who you are"
He's obviously never been charged to court.
This week was supposed to be the fun week, cos drama and dance competitions were slated for 7:30pm.

Platoon 1 Dance Crew

I finally found my problem! Too much talent!! That right there is my problem.
So I rehearsed with the dance crew and I was on the bata drums. We were going head to head with platoon 5 for the dance category that night and had to keep changing our moves during practice cos they kept stealing our moves.

Fast forward to show time!
Update: We killed it!!!

We made such sexy rhythm with the drums, It was almost like out sticks and palms were making love with the drums. (If you've seen the  Nick Cannon movie, Drumline. You'd totally get this) and our dancers had the moves!

Met another beautiful chic, Tasha. Yes, prettier than the one in Power. Witty, Smart and friendly. Tired of typing man, all that drum beating makes my fingers ache right now.

Game of Thrones: S8 E1- Winterfell

Jon Snow and The Mother of Dragons  After nearly 2 years of anticipation, the most exciting TV Show since Prison Break is back! If y...