Chronicles of a Corps Member: Day 4

Hey D!

This episode came late, for obvious reasons.
Nothing! Absolutely nothing you do at home will prepare you for 3 weeks of going to bed at 10pm and waking at 3am and I never hespererit.

The party was a giant disaster by the way, kicked off late and the soldiers still came to send us to bed at 10. Who leaves a night party at 10pm?

I once told you of the good thing about the white shirt and shorts we wear, now here's the worst thing about it. Wait for it!

It's practically impossible to hide an erection in these shorts. You either sit in one place and wait for the "young man" to cool down or you start walking funny tryna put your third leg in between you two legs. I shuffled between the two styles to save my honor.

I created something good out of the disaster, knocked down a few bottles at the bar with my goons and did some dirty dancing with the gyal dem.

Tomorrow is Sunday or "Sane day" like I call it as it's the only day we wake up when we like and do as we please until 4pm when our slave masters resume their tyranny.

I'll be catching up on episodes of my favorite series and clearing my mails. See you Monday, fam.
Ciao

Chronicles of a Corps Member : Day 1

Dear Diary,

First off, I wanna say God bless the soul that thought it wise to make white bump shorts the main camp clothing. White shorts have an unusual way making these girls assess look more attractive. Okay snap out of it!

I was made Platoon leader by default and I don't know if it's cos I was early or my dentition and trademark corner smile blew the female officer away. I like to think it's the latter.

Being a leader comes naturally to me, so I wore that Prada suit like the devil. Everything is so godamn expensive here, rip offs everywhere.

I had to be in charge of registering my platoon members and I have to say Hausa girls are the finest women the world is yet to see. Igbo girls are overrated tbh.
(forefinger pointing to the sky)
Insha Allah, I must give pesin pikin belle before I comot for this Abuja walahi.

Gotta sleep man, these soldiers promised to give us hell at the parade ground tomorrow. And please ignore those morons tryna start a family on a #19,800 salary

Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn Review

Yes! Episode Stormborn kicks off with a bang, literally.  There was some steamy sex scene and HBO finally gives us our weekly dose of succulent breasts and rounded bottoms. We'll get to that in a few lines.

QUEEN DAENARYS ACCUSING VARYS

Daenerys hatches her plan to take the Iron Throne along with Olenna Tyrell, Euralia Martell and Yara Greyjoy. She briefly accuses Varys the Eunuch of being a snake which he swiftly finesses his way out of with the fine words "I CHOSE YOU, MY QUEEN"

The Red Priestess, Melisandre who served Stannis Baratheon arrives Dragon Stone with a prophecy on her lips "It is a long night, only the prince that was promised can bring the dawn" She hints at Dana and Jon being very instrumental in bringing light to Westeros.

Dany hears of Jon's exploits in the North and invites him to come over to Dragon Stone so they could both hangout, watch some movies, talk shop and oh yeah, Bend The Knee!

MISANDE AND GREY WORM ABOUT TO GET FRISKY

You have to applaud Tyrion's battle Master plan as both strategic and genius.  As part of the battle plans, the unsullied army have to travel to Casterly Rock. An upset Misande goes to see Grey Worm and they confirm all the sexual chemistry we've seen from these two. Grey Worm pours out his heart like a child, referring to her as his weakness. Kisses her awkwardly, She gets naked and they make sweet love.

It seems our favorite fatso, Sam Tarly may have found a cure to Ser Jorah's greyscale infection. Although crude, gross, and painful, it's the only shot we've got at seeing the might of Ser Jorah in Daenerys' ranks once again.

There has never been a tougher time to be King of the North and Jon Snow is once again caught in the web making the seemingly right decision that displeases everyone, even the fiery Lady Lyanna Mormont. The decision to ride for Dragon Stone at the behest of a Lannister and bend a knee to a Tygarean in exchange for Dragon glass, Dragon fire and a large army. Ned Stark's bastard proves his exceptional leadership abilities to us once again.

LORD BAELISH WITH THAT DEVIL SMILE

Jon's sojourn to the Mother of Dragons leaves control of the North in the hands of dumbo the Oldest Stark, Sansa which to be honest is a sucker move. Lord Baelish thinks this is an opportunity to worm his way into Jon's heart and Sansa's bed but meets a choke slam and death threat from king Jon.

HERE LIETH THE FACE OF THE MAN WHO HATH NO BALLS

Euron Greyjoy returns as promised with the largest fleet of ships ever and attacks the Donnish-Greyjoy ship army destroying all their ships, killing the donnish first daughters and captures her Queen. The battle climaxes when Euron faces off with Yara, he overpowers her and holds her hostage, leaving Theon to redeem himself and save the day, but he panics in the face of carnage and jumps into the sea. Well, we didn't expect much from  a man with no balls testicles

ARYA MEETS HER DIREWOLF, NYMERIA 

Arya on her way back to the North reunites with her direwolf, Nymeria but he turns his back on her! Does this predict further doom for House Stark??

Things to look out for in the coming episodes:

• Jon's meeting with the Mad King's Daughter 
• Euron Greyjoy alliance with Queen Cersei 
• Sansa ruling the North in Jon's stead
• Some more lovemaking from Greyworm and Misande 
• Arya's reunion with Sansa
• Ser Jorah back to full health 

BLACK ON BLACK PREJUDICE

The genius of apartheid was convincing people who were the overwhelming majority to turn on each other. Apart hate, is what it was. You sperate people into groups and make them hate one another so you can run them all.

At the time, Black South Africans outnumbered white  South Africans nearly five to one, yet were divided into different tribes with different languages: Zulu, Xhosa, Tswana,Sotho, Venda, Ndebele, Tsonga, Pedi, and more. Long beore apartheid existed these tribal factions clashed and warred with one another. Then apartheid fell, Mandela walked free, and black South Africa went to war with itself.

All this while, Xenophobia lurked in the shadows, waiting for the perect time to emerge. That time was in 1994.
The incidence continued and the casualty figures peaked in 2008, at 62.

Recently, there has been a flare-up of attacks on foreign owned residences and businesses, registration of an explicitly xenophobic political party and an anti-foreigner march planned for Friday, 24th Feb,2017, This is all playing out in full public view, so nobody can claim they didn't see it coming.

Radicals have claimed that foreign nationals are responsible for the recent wave of drug and human trafficking, spike in unemployment rate as most of the jobns are taken up by foreigners (This part reminds me of a certain orange-haired, pussy grabbing President)

Xenophobia is a word the South African Government has shied away from in the past, as it is a source of negative embarrassment, impacting its bilateral relations with other African countries. It will have to start facing the word once again.

MY LOVER AND MY PEN

MY LOVER AND MY PEN

Theme Song : My heart will go on - Celine Dion

Growing up, Unlike most of my mates, I had a pretty good idea of what love and affection was, in between the PDA from my parents and 18 rated movies I sneaked around to see, adult websites I visited, older aunties I was... Okay you get the point.
I knew stuff a kid my age shouldn't know.
Fast forward to when I had my first kiss.
We were just coming back from school jejely when one member of the gang decided to cause commotion by saying those dreaded words
"THE LAST PERSON IS A FOOL"
then like athletes under the influence of perfomace enha

ncing drugs, we started the 200m race to our houses.

As you'd expect, the girls were the first to fall and because mama raised a fine gentleman in me, I had to stop to give her a hand (not because I was tired as well). I ignored the rest of the fallen girls, the boy had eyes for only Chinyere.
I pulled her up too quick and too hard she flew up and on me. Our lips jammed and the next thing was "eeeeeeewww" and rubbing our palms across our lips tryna wipe off any trace of saliva
Where you expecting something romantic? Seriously, I was 8!
That was my first kiss
And it didn't end there, Chinyere went home to tell her older brothers that one boy kissed her by force.

Next day, I was called out, during assembly and given 6 strokes. Back then 6 strokes sounded like 6000 strokes. The Teacher told the rest of the students that my offence was being a "naughty boy"
Fast forward to University days

*Change Theme Song "Daddy Yo-Wizkid"*
Oh, these were bad days. Had my heart stomped on, trodden, broken, mended, shattered again.
Story for another post

PS: Oh the Lion? It's a totally unrelated picture. I was just amused that an animal could be that frustrated.
Reminds me of the damn economy, and these damn ponzi schemes.