Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 5: Eastwatch Review

The King of the North 

There wasn't as much action in this episode as we saw in "The Spoils of War" but it brings back some of our old friends.
Thanks to Bronn for saving our One-handed King slayer and Yes! Drogon is unhurt by Qyburn's giant crossbow and is bursting with life.
We see a new side of Dany as she gives the surviving Lannister soldiers two options; "Bend the knee and join me OR refuse and die"

Lord Tarly and Son, Dickon before their death

The brave Lord Tarly and his son, Dickon (what kinda name is that anyway?) defy the Dragon Queen and pay the ultimate price. Well, she was pretty generous to have given people who took up arms against her a choice. But now we know she isn't so different from her father, the mad king.

Jon having a romance with Drogo 

Jon has a moment with Dany as he pets her dragon and the beasts appears to like him too. The chemistry between these two keeps building.
The look on Dany's face when Jon says he's going Eastward to bring a Night walker resembles the look of a woman whose lover is going off to die. She makes a weak attempt to stop him but the King of the North is strong-headed.

The royal incest couple celebrating a new child 

Tyrion makes a play to convince Cersei to fight the Dwight with Daenerys by talking to Jaime. Jaime brings this news to the Queen and it's certain he's unsure about winning the war. Cersei drops a bigger bombshell that she is with child (Eeeeeeeeew). They hug and kiss passionately (Double Eeeeew) and she ends the scene with a warning to Jaime "Never betray me again"

Sam and Gilly uncovering the truth about Jon's ancestry 

Our favorite fatso, whose father and brother got roasted for not bending the knee to Dany, rebels against the Maesters of the Citadel, who keep ignoring the warning of the looming Dwight army. But just before he leaves, Gilly reads aloud from an old book and reveals that Rhaegar (Jon's secret real Dad) had his marriage annulled and remarried in Dorne which was where Ned Stark found his Sister Lyanna with child. This means Jon isn't a bastard after all and is a legitimate son of Rhaegar and Lyanna and is a full-blood Tygarean with a legitimate claim to the Iron Throne.

Ser Jorah kissing Daenery's hand

In Winterfell, Arya confronts Sansa after walking in on the Lords of the North planning to make her the Ruler of the North in Jon's absence and she doesn't defend his name. Arya's Ninja training comes in quite handy as she grows suspicious of Littlefinger and starts following him around. Little did she know that his evil genius had her exactly where he wanted her and leads her directly to the note that Sansa wrote to Robb under duress in Season 1. Littlefinger has once again proved his genius in driving a wedge between the Stark sisters.

Sansa's letter to Robb in season 1

The brothers of the Light join up with Jon's squad and they head for the Dwight army at Eastwatch to bring back a Night Walker. Isn't this a suicide mission?
7 men against an army of immortals??? They look like the avengers only with less sense and more bravery. We look forward to episode 6, stay tuned for spoilers.

2 more episodes left! Stay woke!!

Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 4: The Spoils of War Review

Daenerys and her gang 

The shortest episode of Game of Thrones in HBO history is here and the biggest battle so far is fought and if you haven't seen it, well, Spoiler Alert!

Lord Petyr Baelish scheming his way 

Petyr Baelish is at it again with his antics trying to worm his way into Brandon Stark's heart but he meets a disconnected, emotionless individual and even Meera gets her own dose of the cold attitude of the Three eyed Raven.

Arya! Oh Arya! Our sweet Arya finally arrives home and the biggest Stark reunion yet is set!

Dany, Misande and Jon Snow

The long talked about Dragon glass stash at Dragon Stone is finally found. Jon and Danny take a walk through the cave and uncover evidence that the Children of the Forest and the First Men once fought the Dwights together and this finally convinces Danny to believe Jon's tale and she promises to defend the North if Jon buys her flowers, takes her shopping and of course BENDS THE KNEE!

Danny gets wind of Casterly Rock's capture, Olenna's death and panics as it's obvious she's losing the war. The mother of Dragons threatens to take flight with her children and melt the Red keep as she's fed up of Tyrion's clever plans.

Lady Brienne and her squire, Podrick

We get a brief glimpse of our darling Arya's sword skills as she spars with Lady Brienne. Baelish and Lady Sansa watch her and are impressed beyond words.

Vicerys turning Lannisters to ashes

Dany keeps her word and launches a surprise attack on the Lannister army that took High garden. The battle is majestic and fierce with Dothraki savages running at the Lannisters from all sides and Vicerys breathing down fire from the first whisper of "Dracaris"

Arya unsheathes her Valeyrian steel dagger

The secret weapon is finally unveiled and Vicerys takes a huge arrow to his right side and goes down. This episode is by far the most suspense filled as Jaime Lannister has a close shave with death by fire. He tries to be smart and run through Danaerys with a spear as she tends to a wounded Vicerys but her Dragon turns around in the nick of time and breathes fire on our one-handed kingslayer. But he's pushed away from the blaze by Ser Bronn.

Jaime and Bronn looking confused in the face of attack

The entire Lannister army has been decimated along with her ally, House Tully and Queen Cersi is down to one ally, Euron Greyjoy. Dany is down to at least 2 dragons, a fierce Dothraki army, an unsullied army that's stuck in Casterly Rock and a potential ally in Jon Snow.

With 3 more episodes left in the season finale, How will Queen Cersei be defeated? Will Arya deal the final blow with her new Valeyrian Steel dagger? When will the fight against the Night Walkers begin? Will Jon eventually bend the Knee? Will Viscerys survive the wound or are we down to two Dragons? More to come

Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 3: The Queen's Justice Review

Dany, The Foreign Invader

The Northern fool heads all the way to Dragon Stone to see the Foreign Invader. We've waited for this scene a long time and it didn't disappoint. Their conversation is filled with points and counterpoints with both making solid points to prove their case as Jon tries to persuade her to leave her fight with Cersei and fight the Night Walkers with him and Dany demands an oath of fealty from the Bastard of Winterfell.

Euron GreyJoy delivers on his promise to return with a gift and delivers Ellaria, her daughter and Yara Grejoy and Cersei makes a cryptic promise to marry him but we know that's never happening.

Cersei Lannister, Queen of the 7 Kingdoms

Cersei reaffirms her position as The Queen Mother of Evil as she carries out the perfect revenge on Ellaria for murdering Myrcella, making her watch her daughter go through a very slow and painful death that might have felt a bit "above and beyond," but this was all still within her right as a wronged, grieving mother.

Just when we thought we've had enough of the Lannister incest freak show, they decide to do the nasty and this time they aren't hiding it, confirming all the town gossip, "I am the Queen of the 7 kingdoms, I shall do as I please" she says

Lord of the North, Sansa Stark

Sansa for the first time ever is doing a good job of leading as Lord of the North in Jon's stead but all that "Lord swagger" crumbles as Bran arrives Winterfell and she tears up. We can't wait for Arya to arrive, that's if she didn't turn around after meeting Nymeria.

Sam locking arms with Ser Jorah. 

Back at the Citadel, Sam Tarly's little experiment with Ser Jorah pays off and the Knight is back to full health and should be swinging his sword in Dany's ranks soon.

Like last week's episode, "The Queen's Justice" ended with a big battle, but one of a different sort. Sure, it all didn't turn out well for Dany's forces in the end, but the entire sequence felt different. Here, as the Unsullied army stormed Casterly Rock, Tyrion's voice led us through the plan and we finally got to learn about Tyrion's time as the lowly sewer master of the Rock.

It was all still a big diversion though, and a way for Cersei, who's pretty damn good at this strategy shit, to knock out Dany's other important ally - the Tyrells. So while we were all excited to finally see Casterly Rock this week, the show magnificently tricked us by also showing us, for the first time, Highgarden, and that was the actual important war tactic. Tyrion was duped (again) and we were duped. It was a superb double-duping.

Jaime Lannister and Olenna Tyrell before her death 

The final scene of the episode, between Jaime and Olenna. It was awesome to see him show mercy to Olenna by allowing her to die painlessly but then it was also great to see her spit that charity back in his face when she told him that she was one of the masterminds behind Joffrey's agonizing death. We all knew that she was behind Joffrey's choking, but Jaime and Cersei didn't. I don't know where Jaime fell on the verdict side of things, but we all know Cersei blamed Tyrion and Sansa.

Danaerys Stormborn seems to be losing this war having lost two battles and three allies. Will she unleash her dragons? What secret weapon does Cersei have for the dragons? Will Jaime tell Cersei about Olenna's confession? Is Arya walking around in King's Landing in another face?
4 more episodes! It's a game of thrones, you lose you die.

Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn Review

Yes! Episode Stormborn kicks off with a bang, literally.  There was some steamy sex scene and HBO finally gives us our weekly dose of succulent breasts and rounded bottoms. We'll get to that in a few lines.

QUEEN DAENARYS ACCUSING VARYS

Daenerys hatches her plan to take the Iron Throne along with Olenna Tyrell, Euralia Martell and Yara Greyjoy. She briefly accuses Varys the Eunuch of being a snake which he swiftly finesses his way out of with the fine words "I CHOSE YOU, MY QUEEN"

The Red Priestess, Melisandre who served Stannis Baratheon arrives Dragon Stone with a prophecy on her lips "It is a long night, only the prince that was promised can bring the dawn" She hints at Dana and Jon being very instrumental in bringing light to Westeros.

Dany hears of Jon's exploits in the North and invites him to come over to Dragon Stone so they could both hangout, watch some movies, talk shop and oh yeah, Bend The Knee!

MISANDE AND GREY WORM ABOUT TO GET FRISKY

You have to applaud Tyrion's battle Master plan as both strategic and genius.  As part of the battle plans, the unsullied army have to travel to Casterly Rock. An upset Misande goes to see Grey Worm and they confirm all the sexual chemistry we've seen from these two. Grey Worm pours out his heart like a child, referring to her as his weakness. Kisses her awkwardly, She gets naked and they make sweet love.

It seems our favorite fatso, Sam Tarly may have found a cure to Ser Jorah's greyscale infection. Although crude, gross, and painful, it's the only shot we've got at seeing the might of Ser Jorah in Daenerys' ranks once again.

There has never been a tougher time to be King of the North and Jon Snow is once again caught in the web making the seemingly right decision that displeases everyone, even the fiery Lady Lyanna Mormont. The decision to ride for Dragon Stone at the behest of a Lannister and bend a knee to a Tygarean in exchange for Dragon glass, Dragon fire and a large army. Ned Stark's bastard proves his exceptional leadership abilities to us once again.

LORD BAELISH WITH THAT DEVIL SMILE

Jon's sojourn to the Mother of Dragons leaves control of the North in the hands of dumbo the Oldest Stark, Sansa which to be honest is a sucker move. Lord Baelish thinks this is an opportunity to worm his way into Jon's heart and Sansa's bed but meets a choke slam and death threat from king Jon.

HERE LIETH THE FACE OF THE MAN WHO HATH NO BALLS

Euron Greyjoy returns as promised with the largest fleet of ships ever and attacks the Donnish-Greyjoy ship army destroying all their ships, killing the donnish first daughters and captures her Queen. The battle climaxes when Euron faces off with Yara, he overpowers her and holds her hostage, leaving Theon to redeem himself and save the day, but he panics in the face of carnage and jumps into the sea. Well, we didn't expect much from  a man with no balls testicles

ARYA MEETS HER DIREWOLF, NYMERIA 

Arya on her way back to the North reunites with her direwolf, Nymeria but he turns his back on her! Does this predict further doom for House Stark??

Things to look out for in the coming episodes:

• Jon's meeting with the Mad King's Daughter 
• Euron Greyjoy alliance with Queen Cersei 
• Sansa ruling the North in Jon's stead
• Some more lovemaking from Greyworm and Misande 
• Arya's reunion with Sansa
• Ser Jorah back to full health 

Game Of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 1: DragonStone Review

WINTER IS HERE

The year long wait is finally over and it was totally worth it. The first episode will leave you astounded right from the first scene! So the girl who hath no name Arya Stark "became" Walder Frey and murdered all the men who had a hand in killing members of the Stark family. The North remembers!

The strategy meeting at Winterfell with all Jon's bannermen for the war against the dead blesses us with another glimpse of the fiery 10 year-old Lady Lyanna Mormont as she shuts down Lord Glover's attempt to stop girls from training for the War (If Lyanna Mormont had just one dragon, this war would be over in 2 episodes. lol)

Sansa stark who has been nothing but useless and annoying sweet and innocent since Season 1 suddenly becomes a War Strategy expert and begins to question Jon Snow's decisions in the meeting, he promptly shuts her down as it should be.

The Night king is marching to the wall with his Army of the dead and there are Giants in his ranks and you have to feel sorry for their opponents. Bran and Meera have made their way to the Ice wall and declared their identities. 

CERSEI AND JAIMES AT KING'S LANDING

Queen's Cersei is deluded as she still thinks she's "Queen of the 7 kingdoms" but Ser Jaimes Lannister is quick to remind her that they have control over just 3 kingdoms at best. King's Landing has enemies to the East, the South, the West and the North and and one potential ally, The Ironborn who wants Queen Cersei for a wife before he gives her his fleet of ships.

At the Citadel, Sam the fatso is studying with the Maesters to find a way to defeat the White Walkers and he finally reads about a Mountain of dragon glass beneath the ground at Dragon Stone. Jon needs to know about this! 

It's surprising that with all the wisdom of the Maesters, they would know that beans is a laxative and try to switch up their diet but No!  All they eat is beans...and guess whose job it is to take care of their feaces. Poor Old Sam Tarly

And Yes! Ed Sheeran made a guest appearance, even though he only got two sentences out (besides his singing) and was just sitting there like "Shape of You"at the top of the UK charts for 6 weeks. But damn! That man can sing.

Ser Sandor Clegane's association with the Brotherhood without Banners makes us see an emotional side to the Hound. They are headed to the Night's Watch to help the Wall against the White Walkers. Will these agents of the Lord of Light have a role to play in vanquishing the "Wights"?

DAENERYS STORMBORN AT DRAGONSTONE

Daenerys Stomborn's army finally arrives at Dragon Stone and her Dragons are a beautiful sight to behold! Dany has an emotional homecoming and we see her walking through the dank, deserted halls of the castle Stannis abandoned. She pulls down the Baratheon banner hanging in the throne room and then walks to the model of the Seven Kingdoms, her silence all through is deafening! until she says "Shall We Begin?"  Yes! let us begin!!

Things to look out for in the coming episodes:

• Jon's quest to find the Dragon Glass stash at Dragonstone and a potential "clash" with Daenerys
• Arya Stark's mission to kill the Queen
• Queen Cersei's alliance with the Ironborn
• Daenerys Stomborn's plan of attack on King's Landing